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7:52 AM
October 11, 2011 I realize
A day before, we hurt each other. You say you do not like people making fun etc. I do not know why I felt very very hurt at that time. I cannot express what kinda feelings I had at that time.I felt disappointed with you or me. I really do not know. I admit yesterday I did ignore you because I do not know what i want to reply for your message. Sometimes it is like too late and I do not want to argue so much. I just could keep my feelings. I seriously do not know what I am suppose to do at that particular moment which I was suppose to pack my bag and sleep but I tend to sit on the chair and dream. When you called me, I seriously do not want to answer your call because I do not know what I am suppose to talk to you. I answered the call is because my mom was here. She will be questioning me. That particular time I was crying but I just need to hide. I do not want my mom to question me and disturb your sleeping time. Plus I accept the fact that I m really playful. Never been serious. I know. My mom do said so. When you say never mind. It gives me the sense that I cannot be changed.I was so frustrated but I had to hide. Sorry. It is my habit for that.
Until this morning, I woke up. I was still thinking of that matter. I felt guilty for what I had done. I know I had been different in school today.I never been quiet for so long and dreaming so long. Until I realize that I cannot live without you when I felt so lonely and sad when you did not reply my text. At that time I realize so much things. I had been sitting and thinking all over and over again. I told you before I very scare such a thing. Yes , I did. The longer I waited for your text the more I scare.
I will do what I had promised. I cannot guarantee that what I am suppose to do is right or wrong.
P.S. Please do not ask what had happened. Just read and go. DO NOT ASK.
Labels: A process of growing up. |
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